Funny Quotes XIV

Ezra, “mom, soon we’re going to have another baby.”
Me, “what? How?”
Ezra, “I don’t know. It’s just happening to me.”
Me, “oh, do you know what you’re having?”
Ezra, “a kitty.”

Asteroids are purple, sparkly, and have lights. – Ezra

That’s your yoga mat? It’s huge. (Pause) that’s because you’re huge! – Ezra

It was from the olden days, like the 1980s. – Ezra describing a video they watched at school.

“Oh those college kids! The bigger they get the more they don’t want to listen.” – Ezra

Ezra referring to the chickens, “I wish they spoke Spanish so we could talk to them.”

Me, “What are you guys doing?”
Ezra, “Something you don’t want to see.”
 

I came out of the bedroom to two beach towels spread across the kitchen floor, “boys, what happened?”
Ezra comes over, “I was going to ask you the same question.”

Me, “when your grown up, remember your wife is always right.”
Ezra, “oh man, you can say that again.”

Noah, using all your words is important. Yelling “mom, Taffi is eating the chickens.” Is so very different from what you should have said, “mom, Taffi is eating the chickens’ food.”

Me “if daddy was home, he would have appreciated mommy’s joke.”
Noah, “what joke?”

I was explaining a triathlon to the boys. “You swim, bike, run.”
Noah, “is that some sort of animal show?”

Noah came out wearing all black, “hey mommy, I’m like cat woman now!”

Noah came out wearing all black, “hey mommy, I’m like cat woman now!”

“Mom, can we sometime get a bird as a pet?” Ezra 
“We can talk about it when your older and able to help more with the cleaning of the cage.” me
“Or we could just get a parrot.” Ezra

The boys packed a suitcase and went to Ethiopia today (master bedroom) on their way they passed Taffi, Ezra says, “Ethiopian dogs are so funny.”

Daddy always knows. He probably has a computer that can see what we’re doing! – Noah

Noah was asking about my birthday cake (he has months to plan it)
What kind do you want?
Chocolate. 
Okay. With a picture of you or minions?
Definitely minions.

I just can’t decide between a firefighter, a police officer, and a ninja turtle. – Noah on growing up.

Noah just saw a fun loom commercial. “Mommy, I could make you lots if necklaces. If you get me this, I’ll eat lots of broccoli.”

When spider man was the boy Peter Parker, he didn’t have food problems he just ate. – Noah trying to convince Ezra to eat dinner.

“We have to plant them well, so they feel bright.” Ezra on planting flowers.

Don’t blame me, blame myself. – Ezra

Ezra, “Why do the snowballs hurt Mario, I thought he liked playing in the snow?”
Noah, “The snow gives him eczema.”

Noah, “Does God want you to turn of the video game while I’m playing? No, he wants you to let me finish.”
Ezra, “No, God wants us to live.”
 

Ezra decided he is buying a corvette when he is older. But told me when “we” have a baby boy he’ll need to find a car that can play movies in the back seat. 
Me: we huh, who is the lucky one?
Ezra. I don’t know. I haven’t met her yet. I bet she’s pretty. But maybe she hasn’t been born yet.

I’m starting kindergarten in 10 days and I’m afraid I’m going to make lots of wonderful new friends. – Noah on starting school and missing his preschool friends. 

Commercials have a strange hold on my children. Tonight Ezra suggested he needs a sleep number bed that has temperature and firmness controls.

Matt was explaining that sometimes mommy needs alone time to recharge. 
Noah, “is mommy a robot?”

Ezra: Abby tells me her secrets because I’m her girlfriend

The boys were wrestling and apparently Ezra had Noah pinned under a blanket.
Noah’s telling of it, “I almost ran out of lives.”

Deep theology from Noah: if I want to be like Jesus, I’d be invisible because id be dead.

Last night’s middle of the night wake up brought to you by Noah, “My brain is changing! I came to wake you two up then turn on all my lights.” 

Me: who brought their patience pants?
Noah: not me! Let’s go!

Noah to Matt at 2 am, “daddy, why is nighttime so long?”

“Oh man! The apple sauce is overtaking the flour! I can’t wait to see who will win this battle” Ezra baking

Noah to Ezra: you can’t come to my half birthday party because I had to make room for Spider-Man. You’ll have to leave your present for me at the door.

A 9 is a right side up 6. – Ezra

Dad, well, when do we get our own house? We are almost 5 and a half you know. – Ezra

Kid trash talk while playing video games: “Actually you are really great at dying”.

Ez: Noah! Stop touching my person! 
Me: you person or Lego person?
Ez: Lego person. He needs his personal space!

Ezra, “Wow, Noah, you look awesome!”
Noah, “Yea, I know.”

“I got a lot of packing heat.” Ezra showing of his muscles

Ezra was threatening to run away this morning. I asked where he would go.
“To Vaughn’s.”
“Vaughn moved to Texas, how would you get there?”
“By airplane.”
“and how are you paying for a plane ticket?”
“With Noah!”

Me, what are you guys doing?
Ez, we’re doing what we do. 

The worst time for giraffes to run is when they’re drinking. – Ezra

Boys tomorrow we have to try to get out the door by 7:30. – me
But mom, I can’t think when I’m up that early. – Noah 

Out of context Noah. 
“I can do everything Ezra can do, because I’m a girl too.”

Ezra bringing in the mail, “I got the email.”

I’m taking a shower and hear a frantic knock on the bathroom door. 
Noah’s important news, “to spell add you spell a-d-d!”

My mouth doesn’t like it, so he isn’t going to eat them! Ezra

Noah claimed their room was all clean. I went in to check and was showing him what still needed put away. “It was clean! It must have messed itself up again.”

“Boys wash up for dinner.”
“But we want to finish this glorious tower!” – Ezra

At the pool a couple of teenage girls walked past Ezra talking. Ezra’s take, “that was a lot if blah, blah blah.”

Ezra, “dad, how do people make Legos?”
Me, “we learned about it yesterday, do you remember?”
Ezra, “I’ll just pretend I know.”

When I grow up I’m going to be a fire fighter and police officer. – Noah 
I’m going to be an ambulance person, fire fighter, and police officer. – Ezra 
That’s a lot of jobs. (Pause) or you could be a ninja! – Noah

Hey Ezra wanna see my famous naked dance? – Noah

If this was a straight track daddy would be sure to win! – Ezra 
Guess Matt needs to work on his cornering skills.

Can you help me cut this medium sized? – Noah 
How big is medium sized? – Me 
Not too big and not too small. – Noah

“I have a big brain.” Ezra
“Yes, you are smart.” Me
“It’s really juicy.” Ezra

Umm, mom, are we old enough to get our own motorcycles yet? – Ezra

“It’s really blah blah because no one is helping me.” – Ezra

We were discussing the Easter Bunny and Noah missed what I said. Ezra telling him what was discussed, “some families have an Easter Beagle, and some families don’t have an Easter Beagle.”

A game Ezra was playing asked him to enter a nickname. I asked what he wanted to be called besides Ezra. “Umm, snake!”

Hey mommy I love you and how do people make guns? – Noah

You’re not my favorite brother anymore! – Noah to Ezra

My butt gets really stuck to the seat because I’m wearing the same fur as this fur. – Ezra on getting into his car seat.

 

First Day of Kindergarten

On August 4 the boys started kindergarten.  They are really liking school for the most part.  It has been quite the transition for all of us with many rough afternoons, but we are finally all getting used to our new routine and long days.  Here are some pics of their first day.  Sorry no good pics at school, it was very crowded and we weren’t allowed inside.

 

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RIP Santa

On September 12 we were driving in the car when the boys decided to ask me some serious questions.  First they asked if the tooth fairy was real.  I asked if they wanted to know the whole truth.  They said they did.  So I told them the truth.  They asked how the tooth box was glowing then, and I told them it was just glow in the dark material like some of their shirts and pajamas have.  Then they asked who was the one that put the money under Noah’s pillow.  When I told them it was me they were very excited that mommy was the tooth fairy.

After a brief pause in our conversation came the next question.  Is Santa real?  I explained that Santa is a mascot of Christmas and explained the concept of generosity beginning with St. Nicholas.  I happened to mentioned St. Nicholas was a real person that lived a long time ago.

Ezra, “So Santa died?”

 

No Tooth Fairies!

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A couple of days after Noah lost his first tooth, his second tooth was ready to come out.  We pulled it and he placed it in the tooth box under his pillow.  Shortly after putting them to bed, Matt heard some noises from their room.  He went to see what was going on and Noah was up, relocating the tooth to his fire plane, so the tooth fairy couldn’t find it.  Why?  He wanted to start his own tooth collection.  He really didn’t want a visit from the tooth fairy, so Matt helped him make a sign for the door.  Plus it was safely secured inside his fire plane.

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We thought that was good enough, but a little while later Matt checked and noticed Noah laying in the middle of the floor.  He asked what he was doing and Noah responded, “I just can’t find it.”  He had decided to relocate his tooth from the fire plane but had dropped it.  We assured him the tooth fairy was not going to come and search for his lost tooth.  Daddy even showed him that he texted the tooth fairy to say she didn’t need to visit.  We finally convinced him to go to sleep and that in the morning we’d help him find the missing tooth for his collection.

 

PS: We never tried to get the boys to believe in the tooth fairy, but thanks to friends and tv they really believe in her and it’s kind of adorable.

PPS:  Mommy finally found the tooth wedged in the bottom of the fire plane.

First Visit From the Tooth Fairy

Noah lost his first tooth! It was super loose and really bothering him, but was not easy to pull. Daddy couldn’t actually get a grip on the tooth so mommy had to pull it while daddy held him. He was getting anxious and needed a distraction. Luckily he provided his own when he tooted and began giggling. I pulled it out quickly. He cried for a bit, upsetting Ezra. Ezra was so upset thinking we had really hurt his brother. Noah recovered quickly, but Ezra stayed upset for a long time. (Noah was worried it was going to cause Ezra nightmares, aren’t twins adorable?)

Our dentist gave us the tooth case and it glows in the dark. Noah thought it was glowing because the tooth fairy was inside it. He was excited to find she left him $1 for his tooth.

Daddy Trying Happy it's over Ez was really upset Checking things out

Beach 2014

So we went to Imperial Beach in early June as we usually try to every year. Stayed in a great condo on the beach, visited Lego land and enjoyed a very quiet tim on the beach.

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Last day of school 2014

What a great year. We decided to let them do one more year of preschool instead of sending them to kindergarden early. They really loved this year, made lots of great friends and learned a ton while having fun, both at school and in the afternoons at home.

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First Day of school back in September

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First Day of school back in September

 

And the Last Day:   DSC02434 DSC02436 DSC02440 DSC02441 DSC02442 DSC02444

New Garden

Matt’s been busy building me a new (hopefully chicken proof) garden. The boys and I planted it today. We planted cucumbers, tomatoes, okra, basil, peppers, melons, carrots, eggplant, zucchini, and red onion.

 

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They also used their fire nozzle to clean off the solar panel.

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Rope Climb

This happened all the way back on December 2! Noah made it to the top of the rope at gymnastics on only his second try. He was determined to get a prize, a gatorade, but he kept calling it a gator. We are so proud of him.

Noah Climbing

Funny Quotes XIII

“My muscles aren’t bigger than yours, they are just more potent than yours.” Ezra to Noah

Ezra shouting, “mom, what’s that thing making the noise?”
Me, “the blender.”
Ezra shouting, “the blender is losing the quiet game.”

More crashes means more scratches. Ezra’s words of wisdom.

“Noah, did you know dirt is allergic to me?” – Ezra

Mommy, the more music I make, the more Jackson drinks.” – Ezra

Sometimes I just get ignored by your books. – Ezra (Took me a few days and him using ignored wrong a few more times to figure out he was trying to say inspired)

Me: what does mommy want for Christmas?
Noah: well she seems to like laundry. So maybe more laundry?

Ezra, oh what happened?
Me, one of the chargers got hurt.
Ezra, did his arm get chopped off? (Football is apparently a very violent game)

Noah was having a party at the swing set. Ezra parks his jeep and all the chickens run up, “uh-oh looks like a chick party.”

I don’t want to go to school. I already know my abc’s. I have nothing left to learn! – Noah

When I sit down it’s boring. – Ezra

The boys got some conversation hearts today at school. I was requested to read them and when I read Ezra one that said “first kiss” he gave me a kiss.

I’m sorry, mommy. I just got distracted with books. – Ezra

Ezra, “you have a nice butt.”
Me, “who are you talking to?”
Ezra, “that strawberry right there.”

Me, “Eat your breakfast, we have gymnastics this morning.”
Noah, “Aaaah but it’s Valentine’s Day.”

I’m readier than banana! – Ezra

We were getting in the car and Noah had forgotten something.
Me “where did you leave it?”
Him “just look everywhere.”

Ezra, “I have the funniest joke ever. Knock knock.”
Us, “Who’s there?”
Ezra, “Knock”
Us, “Knock who?”
Ezra, “Aren’t you glad I have ears?” Followed by hysterical laughter.

Ezra, “it just gets me into trouble.”
Me, “your mustache?” (He was sporting one made of ticky tac)
Ezra, “no, my mind! I just think and think.”

Ezra found the classical station on the radio. “Hey guys listen, you’re missing a princess song.”

Ezra excitedly, “Noah, you know where chocolate chips come from!”
Noah answering even though it was not a question, “Chocolate and chips!”
Ezra, “No, they come from oreos.”

The boys brought home art from Presidents’ Day and we were discussing.
Me, “and who was George Washington?”
Noah, “ummm, a pirate.”

Matt: see boys daddy is super strong. I tore that apart with my bare hands.
Ezra: you don’t have bear hands, you have daddy hands.

Trash talk while playing basketball with lacrosse sticks, (thats normal right?).
Ezra to Noah: Hey Bro, did you bring your A-Game, because it’s all I’ve got!

Ezra the heart breaker: “mommy how do I write letters of love on katlyns birthday card?”

Noah: Daddy how long do I have to stay in my room?
Matt: until you can be calm.
Noah: awwww that will take so long!

While arguing over the nativity scene arrangement: Noah: it goes this way, trust me I was in the bible.

Noah: daddy can we get a pet giraffe?
Matt: sorry but they need to stay in their homes in africa
Noah: aww but I wanted to teach mine to play basketball.
Matt: well in that case. Go ask your mom.

N, “Where was Abby born?”
Me, “Gilbert, in a hospital.”
N, “You don’t get born in a hospital!!!!”
Me (trying not to laugh), “Where do you get born?”
E, “Africa!” Then continues to go on and on about all the animals Abby likes (think giraffes and lions). “There are lions in Africa, she should have just come and seen us there.”

Matt: did some one set the alarm to go off?
Ezra: some one played with it. It was definitely me.

“Make way for THE EZRA!” – Ezra.

Ezra and Noah’s 5th Birthday

The boys turned 5 last month. I still can’t believe they are 5. Where did my babies go? On their actual birthday they had their special donut breakfast and mommy went to school with them. We also opened presents in the morning.

Then on Saturday they had a little party. Noah wanted a firetruck cake and Ezra wanted an ambulance cake. They are also super into legos now, so we decided on the easy route and topped their cakes with legos. There was also a firetruck piñata and games.

Waiting to open presents.

Waiting to open presents.

A real phone! (okay just walkie talkies)

A real phone! (okay just walkie talkies)

Noah's Cake

Noah’s Cake

Ezra's Cake

Ezra’s Cake

Playing with Abby

Playing with Abby

Demonstrating the fire pole, look mom one hand!

Demonstrating the fire pole, look mom one hand!

Singing to Noah

Singing to Noah

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Singing to Ezra

Singing to Ezra

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Cheese!

Cheese!