Funny Quotes XV

Wow it’s been a long time since we’ve posted these.  From top to bottom, July 2016 – October 2014.


“you are crazy, but that’s a good idea!” – Noah to Ezra

Me, “lightning is around 54,000 degrees.”
Ez, “has it been that hot in Arizona?”
Me, “no.”
Ez, “but has it been close?”
Me , “no.”
Ez, “are you sure?”


Matt, “and what did I say the consequence was?”

Child, “I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.”

Ezra, “mommy, for Father’s Day should we get daddy a bike?”

Noah, “no, he has enough already! Look at all those bikes!”

Ezra, “he only has three.”


7 year old coming in from the garage: daddy how do you get the car to start?

Me: um what? Where are you going?

Me: sorry but being disrespectful has consequences. Maybe you can start with a more respectful tone.

Kid: but that’s never going to happen.

Ahh Another day with 7 year olds.


Why is it so loud? I keep hearing loud kids. – Ezra

Me, “oh it’s you guys. I’m watching a video.”


Hummus is like nature’s peanut butter. Noah

I’ve always wanted to be in New Mexico! – Noah


The boys are wearing Jedi robes to school today.

Ezra, “mom, I can’t ride my bike in a robe.”

Me, “you guys can ride your scooters.”

Noah, “I was preferring car but yes scooters will do.”


Teaching the boys about palindromes.

Me: “See boys, tacocat and racecar go both ways”

Noah: “Ohh just like dog burrito”


What I thought I heard from the backseat, “mommy, are mines dangerous?”

I then explain the dangers of mining.

Noah, “huh, I just thought they pretended to be in boxes.”


Ezra reading a flyer from a cleaning service that said, “maybe it’s time to clean your house?”

He starts laughing and says, “we never do that!”


I like chocolate chips. I don’t like chocolate! – Noah


Okay boys. What should we get mom for Mother’s Day?

Noah: more cleaning supplies?

Me: um no. How about something she likes?

Ezra: post it notes!!!

Me, “how much snacks do you need in an afternoon?”

Ezra, “2,000 well more like 10 hundred.”


Watching hockey with Ezra, “is the penalty a person?”

Pollen rain! Everyone hold your breath. – Ezra

Why would you think there is a speeder in the present? That is only in Star Wars. Noah


Me, “Boys when we get home you need to clean all the trash out. Daddy was not happy about the mess this morning.”

Ezra, “Because we had just cleaned it and now it is messy again?”

Noah, “Hey it’s the circle of car life.”


Noah to Ezra, “mom is letting you play on the computer?”

Me, “yeah, he’s playing math games.”

Ez, “No mom, cool math games.”


“Daddy come see the HILARIOUS thing I just did in the bathroom”.

Me: ummmm what.


Noah, “Ezra I can make you say a big E word. What’s an animal with a big trunk?”

Ezra, “that’s easy a wooly mamouth!”


Mommy did they have ice cream when you were a kid?

Do pickles have helium? – dinner time questions by Ezra

We were playing soccer and Noah needed to tie his shoe so he yelled, “Pause!”

“Moms always save the day.” – Noah

Ezra, “Ollie is my puppy. Jackson and Carter are your cats. Lola is Noah’s kitty. And daddy has…”

Matt, “you two.”

Ezra, “oh right, the party animals.”


Noah, “when can I get my own secret password?”

Ezra, “when you can rememberize it.”

Woke up to two little boys wearing 5 shirts. Each. And Stephanie wonders why we have mountains of laundry.


The boys were playing with an old flip phone and we were discussing how things used to be.

“Back then did they use gold for money?” – Noah

Noah to Ollie, “smell my feet. You’re brave enough and tough enough to.”


Me: Ezra your ears look pretty clean in there. Ezra: that’s because I don’t use my ears very much.

Noah to ezra, “I’m going to post you on Google.”
Me: why are you naked in your fort?
Noah: I don’t know. I’m just having fun.
“It’s not the clothes that matter, it’s the smile.” – Noah on his outfit for the class picture.
Can we invite the guy that brings us pizza to our birthday party? – Noah

Noah, “who are those cookies for?”

Me, “boys who clean up their toys.”

Noah, “awe I wanted one.”


Ezra, “We just cleaned our bedroom on Saturday and it’s a mess again!”

Me, “Imagine how clean it would be if after you were done playing with something you put it where it belonged.”

Ezra, “I just can’t do that.”


Bed time conversations:

Ezra, “mommy, if your house is surrounded by snakes there is a pet you can get that can smell them and it eats them.”

Noah, “yea there is a pet that eats snakes, a chihuahua.”

Noah: Did mommy used to work at a store? Me: Yes, me too a long time ago. It’s where I met mommy.
Noah: How do two people know the other isn’t married. Me: well married people usually wear wedding rings, or they talk to each other.
Noah: why wasn’t mommy married? didn’t lots of boys want to marry her?
Me: Not sure, I guess I got lucky.
Noah: Well i want to marry her so i guess not that lucky.

Noah just requested that I write this down for Saturday, “how to do the force?”

While I was writing, Ezra asked, “do they have to cut you open to put the force inside?”

“Can you turn our fan off?”

“Why? What are you trying to do?”

“Boy things, you don’t want to know about.”


Noah, “mommy, who’s coming over?”

Me, “no one.”

Noah, “oh I thought someone was coming over, the house looks tidy.”


Ezra and I were smelling the scented markers.

Me, “this one smells so good.”

Ezra, “yea it smells good, but it does NOT taste good.”


While playing tag Noah was chasing me, “whoa you’re faster than you look!”


Ezra: mommy what to people taste like?

Mommy: um we don’t eat people.

Ezra: oh.

Ezra: soccer is just like hockey. Except in soccer you only have two feet.

Noah while playing nintendo with Ez: Hey who can you battle?
Ezra: Well, pirates, ninjas, aliens, dinosaurs, robbers…
Noah: What game are you playing?!
Ezra: Ohh i thought you meant in real life.


“Mom, Siri’s not listening!” – ezra


Noah, “Can we have alone time in our room?”

Me, “What are you wanting to do?”

Noah, “Boy stuff.”


Noah jokes: I had a dream mommy and daddy had a shoe tying race. You guys tied.


Noah: daddy can I have dynamite for my birthday? I’ll be careful and only use it outside on bricks and stuff.


“That movie was NOT boring. A lot of movies are boring but that one wasn’t.” Noah’s glowing review of Inside Out.


Noah, “it’s like a desert out there, like the Wild West.”

Me, “this was the Wild West.”

Noah, “so there were dead Cowboys here? We can dig a hole and find cowboy bones.”

That went morbid fast.


Ezra sees a pot about to boil over, “mom, I think something’s overloading.”


We were driving through the tunnel.

“Mommy, we’re going back in time. Back in time to when everybody had good attitudes.” – Noah


I said something about Anaheim. Noah, “what’s that about banana time?”


Noah just blamed something on my childhood invisible friend.

Overheard Ezra from the bathroom in his best stage voice: “Hey Noah, what you are about to see will amaze you…”. Should I be worried? Yes.

 When girls grow up they get eyes on the back of their heads. – noah
I was giving Noah some ibuprofen. Noah, “is that mighty profen?”
Noah counting the cup holders in the van, “7, we are so rich!”

It started pouring on our ride home from school.

Me, “Change your clothes.”
Noah, “I’m going to put on my jammies!”
Me, “Oh a jammie day sounds fun.”
Ezra, “It’s like our special holiday!”

That’s right, when it rains in Arizona it’s a holiday.


Me: No you can not go down the fire pole with an umbrella. Ezra does it anyway.

“My life is not going the way I wanted.” Noah (while playing video games)


Me: What are you two doing? Kids: We are bears and hibernating. Me: Its spring, bears hibernate in the winter. Kids: Ohh we are Ethiopian Bears.

 “If I saw a tornado, I would turn into a ninja and punch it in the face.” – Noah

The stinky smell in our room called science. – Noah.

Me, “Noah please come here.”

Him, “in a minute, I’m giving Lola a bath.”

Me, “what?”

Him, “with my tongue.”


Matt was flexing his biceps. Noah, “I thought they were going to pop!”


According to Ezra the gopher saw his shadow and there are going to be 16 more weeks of winter. Thank goodness we live in Arizona.

Matt, “we need to teach Ollie to shake.”


“His paw, not his booty!”


“Wait I need two spoons. If one gets dirty, I can use the other one.” Ezra


Only things you hear at our house: “hot diggity mommy did the laundry.  It’s our lucky day. “

Noah: “I’m Noah Adams, PHD”

Me: “um what?”

Noah: “Pretty Handsome Dude”.

“Mom, how old is noah?” – Ezra


Noah: “Hey Ezra, you can use The Force on me, i can take it”.

Ezra to Noah: ugh it’s like you don’t even know Siri. You are not her friend yet.


Noah to Ezra: “You just got my signature wet willie. You. are. welcome. “

Noah’s singing, “police la de da.” Guess that Christmas song.


“Mom, Santa is real so you don’t need to give us presents.” Ezra

“She can give us presents if she wants.” Noah

“Santa did spell my name wrong, two zs, ezzra, silly Santa.”


The boys were picking out pictures of things they are thankful for to take to school. Ezra points to a picture of himself wearing his fire fighter costume.

Me, “oh you’re thankful for your fire outfit?”

Ezra, “no, I’m thankful for Ezra.”


“If I had felium I could fly.” – Noah


Ezra, “hey Noah, want to play snow butt?”

Noah, “yea, I love snow butt!”

Me, “what’s snow butt?”

Noah (in the tone that goes with mooooom), “it’s a game.”


Matt, “Mommy is usually right.”

Ezra without missing a beat, “Always.”


The boys each received $2 in the mail today (thanks gamma!)

“I’m going to buy you something for your birthday!” – Ezra

“Ummm, you can have some of the gum I’m going to buy.” – Noah


Ezra: ~belch~

Noah to Ezra: you are adorable.

Noah to me: we are 6 now, we say big words like adorable

Noah crying about his finger bleeding: it hurts soooo bad! Me: um this is red paint. Noah: oh, Never mind then.


“Mom, I want to do horse training.” – Ezra

“But then you have to get a flu shot.” – Noah


“Mommy, I wish I was a mom.” – Noah


“Mommy, when I’m a teenager I’m going to do everything you say. I don’t want to be a mean teenager.” Ezra – I’m totally going to hold him to it.


Nana was talking about uncle Brandon, “he had to work all night long.”

Ezra, “oh, is he a dad?”


I can eat anything because I worked out a lot. – Ezra


Me to Ezra who was trying to earn a dollar pulling weeds: Please don’t shake the weeds, that spreads the seeds. Ezra: Then more will grow? Me: Yes. Ezra: Then I can pull those and get more dollars!

That boy has a entrepreneurial future in consumables.

Funny Quotes XIV

Ezra, “mom, soon we’re going to have another baby.”
Me, “what? How?”
Ezra, “I don’t know. It’s just happening to me.”
Me, “oh, do you know what you’re having?”
Ezra, “a kitty.”

Asteroids are purple, sparkly, and have lights. – Ezra

That’s your yoga mat? It’s huge. (Pause) that’s because you’re huge! – Ezra

It was from the olden days, like the 1980s. – Ezra describing a video they watched at school.

“Oh those college kids! The bigger they get the more they don’t want to listen.” – Ezra

Ezra referring to the chickens, “I wish they spoke Spanish so we could talk to them.”

Me, “What are you guys doing?”
Ezra, “Something you don’t want to see.”

I came out of the bedroom to two beach towels spread across the kitchen floor, “boys, what happened?”
Ezra comes over, “I was going to ask you the same question.”

Me, “when your grown up, remember your wife is always right.”
Ezra, “oh man, you can say that again.”

Noah, using all your words is important. Yelling “mom, Taffi is eating the chickens.” Is so very different from what you should have said, “mom, Taffi is eating the chickens’ food.”

Me “if daddy was home, he would have appreciated mommy’s joke.”
Noah, “what joke?”

I was explaining a triathlon to the boys. “You swim, bike, run.”
Noah, “is that some sort of animal show?”

Noah came out wearing all black, “hey mommy, I’m like cat woman now!”

Noah came out wearing all black, “hey mommy, I’m like cat woman now!”

“Mom, can we sometime get a bird as a pet?” Ezra 
“We can talk about it when your older and able to help more with the cleaning of the cage.” me
“Or we could just get a parrot.” Ezra

The boys packed a suitcase and went to Ethiopia today (master bedroom) on their way they passed Taffi, Ezra says, “Ethiopian dogs are so funny.”

Daddy always knows. He probably has a computer that can see what we’re doing! – Noah

Noah was asking about my birthday cake (he has months to plan it)
What kind do you want?
Okay. With a picture of you or minions?
Definitely minions.

I just can’t decide between a firefighter, a police officer, and a ninja turtle. – Noah on growing up.

Noah just saw a fun loom commercial. “Mommy, I could make you lots if necklaces. If you get me this, I’ll eat lots of broccoli.”

When spider man was the boy Peter Parker, he didn’t have food problems he just ate. – Noah trying to convince Ezra to eat dinner.

“We have to plant them well, so they feel bright.” Ezra on planting flowers.

Don’t blame me, blame myself. – Ezra

Ezra, “Why do the snowballs hurt Mario, I thought he liked playing in the snow?”
Noah, “The snow gives him eczema.”

Noah, “Does God want you to turn of the video game while I’m playing? No, he wants you to let me finish.”
Ezra, “No, God wants us to live.”

Ezra decided he is buying a corvette when he is older. But told me when “we” have a baby boy he’ll need to find a car that can play movies in the back seat. 
Me: we huh, who is the lucky one?
Ezra. I don’t know. I haven’t met her yet. I bet she’s pretty. But maybe she hasn’t been born yet.

I’m starting kindergarten in 10 days and I’m afraid I’m going to make lots of wonderful new friends. – Noah on starting school and missing his preschool friends. 

Commercials have a strange hold on my children. Tonight Ezra suggested he needs a sleep number bed that has temperature and firmness controls.

Matt was explaining that sometimes mommy needs alone time to recharge. 
Noah, “is mommy a robot?”

Ezra: Abby tells me her secrets because I’m her girlfriend

The boys were wrestling and apparently Ezra had Noah pinned under a blanket.
Noah’s telling of it, “I almost ran out of lives.”

Deep theology from Noah: if I want to be like Jesus, I’d be invisible because id be dead.

Last night’s middle of the night wake up brought to you by Noah, “My brain is changing! I came to wake you two up then turn on all my lights.” 

Me: who brought their patience pants?
Noah: not me! Let’s go!

Noah to Matt at 2 am, “daddy, why is nighttime so long?”

“Oh man! The apple sauce is overtaking the flour! I can’t wait to see who will win this battle” Ezra baking

Noah to Ezra: you can’t come to my half birthday party because I had to make room for Spider-Man. You’ll have to leave your present for me at the door.

A 9 is a right side up 6. – Ezra

Dad, well, when do we get our own house? We are almost 5 and a half you know. – Ezra

Kid trash talk while playing video games: “Actually you are really great at dying”.

Ez: Noah! Stop touching my person! 
Me: you person or Lego person?
Ez: Lego person. He needs his personal space!

Ezra, “Wow, Noah, you look awesome!”
Noah, “Yea, I know.”

“I got a lot of packing heat.” Ezra showing of his muscles

Ezra was threatening to run away this morning. I asked where he would go.
“To Vaughn’s.”
“Vaughn moved to Texas, how would you get there?”
“By airplane.”
“and how are you paying for a plane ticket?”
“With Noah!”

Me, what are you guys doing?
Ez, we’re doing what we do. 

The worst time for giraffes to run is when they’re drinking. – Ezra

Boys tomorrow we have to try to get out the door by 7:30. – me
But mom, I can’t think when I’m up that early. – Noah 

Out of context Noah. 
“I can do everything Ezra can do, because I’m a girl too.”

Ezra bringing in the mail, “I got the email.”

I’m taking a shower and hear a frantic knock on the bathroom door. 
Noah’s important news, “to spell add you spell a-d-d!”

My mouth doesn’t like it, so he isn’t going to eat them! Ezra

Noah claimed their room was all clean. I went in to check and was showing him what still needed put away. “It was clean! It must have messed itself up again.”

“Boys wash up for dinner.”
“But we want to finish this glorious tower!” – Ezra

At the pool a couple of teenage girls walked past Ezra talking. Ezra’s take, “that was a lot if blah, blah blah.”

Ezra, “dad, how do people make Legos?”
Me, “we learned about it yesterday, do you remember?”
Ezra, “I’ll just pretend I know.”

When I grow up I’m going to be a fire fighter and police officer. – Noah 
I’m going to be an ambulance person, fire fighter, and police officer. – Ezra 
That’s a lot of jobs. (Pause) or you could be a ninja! – Noah

Hey Ezra wanna see my famous naked dance? – Noah

If this was a straight track daddy would be sure to win! – Ezra 
Guess Matt needs to work on his cornering skills.

Can you help me cut this medium sized? – Noah 
How big is medium sized? – Me 
Not too big and not too small. – Noah

“I have a big brain.” Ezra
“Yes, you are smart.” Me
“It’s really juicy.” Ezra

Umm, mom, are we old enough to get our own motorcycles yet? – Ezra

“It’s really blah blah because no one is helping me.” – Ezra

We were discussing the Easter Bunny and Noah missed what I said. Ezra telling him what was discussed, “some families have an Easter Beagle, and some families don’t have an Easter Beagle.”

A game Ezra was playing asked him to enter a nickname. I asked what he wanted to be called besides Ezra. “Umm, snake!”

Hey mommy I love you and how do people make guns? – Noah

You’re not my favorite brother anymore! – Noah to Ezra

My butt gets really stuck to the seat because I’m wearing the same fur as this fur. – Ezra on getting into his car seat.


First Day of Kindergarten

On August 4 the boys started kindergarten.  They are really liking school for the most part.  It has been quite the transition for all of us with many rough afternoons, but we are finally all getting used to our new routine and long days.  Here are some pics of their first day.  Sorry no good pics at school, it was very crowded and we weren’t allowed inside.



RIP Santa

On September 12 we were driving in the car when the boys decided to ask me some serious questions.  First they asked if the tooth fairy was real.  I asked if they wanted to know the whole truth.  They said they did.  So I told them the truth.  They asked how the tooth box was glowing then, and I told them it was just glow in the dark material like some of their shirts and pajamas have.  Then they asked who was the one that put the money under Noah’s pillow.  When I told them it was me they were very excited that mommy was the tooth fairy.

After a brief pause in our conversation came the next question.  Is Santa real?  I explained that Santa is a mascot of Christmas and explained the concept of generosity beginning with St. Nicholas.  I happened to mentioned St. Nicholas was a real person that lived a long time ago.

Ezra, “So Santa died?”


No Tooth Fairies!



A couple of days after Noah lost his first tooth, his second tooth was ready to come out.  We pulled it and he placed it in the tooth box under his pillow.  Shortly after putting them to bed, Matt heard some noises from their room.  He went to see what was going on and Noah was up, relocating the tooth to his fire plane, so the tooth fairy couldn’t find it.  Why?  He wanted to start his own tooth collection.  He really didn’t want a visit from the tooth fairy, so Matt helped him make a sign for the door.  Plus it was safely secured inside his fire plane.



We thought that was good enough, but a little while later Matt checked and noticed Noah laying in the middle of the floor.  He asked what he was doing and Noah responded, “I just can’t find it.”  He had decided to relocate his tooth from the fire plane but had dropped it.  We assured him the tooth fairy was not going to come and search for his lost tooth.  Daddy even showed him that he texted the tooth fairy to say she didn’t need to visit.  We finally convinced him to go to sleep and that in the morning we’d help him find the missing tooth for his collection.


PS: We never tried to get the boys to believe in the tooth fairy, but thanks to friends and tv they really believe in her and it’s kind of adorable.

PPS:  Mommy finally found the tooth wedged in the bottom of the fire plane.

First Visit From the Tooth Fairy

Noah lost his first tooth! It was super loose and really bothering him, but was not easy to pull. Daddy couldn’t actually get a grip on the tooth so mommy had to pull it while daddy held him. He was getting anxious and needed a distraction. Luckily he provided his own when he tooted and began giggling. I pulled it out quickly. He cried for a bit, upsetting Ezra. Ezra was so upset thinking we had really hurt his brother. Noah recovered quickly, but Ezra stayed upset for a long time. (Noah was worried it was going to cause Ezra nightmares, aren’t twins adorable?)

Our dentist gave us the tooth case and it glows in the dark. Noah thought it was glowing because the tooth fairy was inside it. He was excited to find she left him $1 for his tooth.

Daddy Trying Happy it's over Ez was really upset Checking things out

Beach 2014

So we went to Imperial Beach in early June as we usually try to every year. Stayed in a great condo on the beach, visited Lego land and enjoyed a very quiet tim on the beach.

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Last day of school 2014

What a great year. We decided to let them do one more year of preschool instead of sending them to kindergarden early. They really loved this year, made lots of great friends and learned a ton while having fun, both at school and in the afternoons at home.


First Day of school back in September


First Day of school back in SeptemberDSC01483

First Day of school back in September


And the Last Day:   DSC02434 DSC02436 DSC02440 DSC02441 DSC02442 DSC02444

New Garden

Matt’s been busy building me a new (hopefully chicken proof) garden. The boys and I planted it today. We planted cucumbers, tomatoes, okra, basil, peppers, melons, carrots, eggplant, zucchini, and red onion.


photo 1








They also used their fire nozzle to clean off the solar panel.


Rope Climb

This happened all the way back on December 2! Noah made it to the top of the rope at gymnastics on only his second try. He was determined to get a prize, a gatorade, but he kept calling it a gator. We are so proud of him.

Noah Climbing