Funny Quotes XIV

Ezra, “mom, soon we’re going to have another baby.”
Me, “what? How?”
Ezra, “I don’t know. It’s just happening to me.”
Me, “oh, do you know what you’re having?”
Ezra, “a kitty.”

Asteroids are purple, sparkly, and have lights. – Ezra

That’s your yoga mat? It’s huge. (Pause) that’s because you’re huge! – Ezra

It was from the olden days, like the 1980s. – Ezra describing a video they watched at school.

“Oh those college kids! The bigger they get the more they don’t want to listen.” – Ezra

Ezra referring to the chickens, “I wish they spoke Spanish so we could talk to them.”

Me, “What are you guys doing?”
Ezra, “Something you don’t want to see.”
 

I came out of the bedroom to two beach towels spread across the kitchen floor, “boys, what happened?”
Ezra comes over, “I was going to ask you the same question.”

Me, “when your grown up, remember your wife is always right.”
Ezra, “oh man, you can say that again.”

Noah, using all your words is important. Yelling “mom, Taffi is eating the chickens.” Is so very different from what you should have said, “mom, Taffi is eating the chickens’ food.”

Me “if daddy was home, he would have appreciated mommy’s joke.”
Noah, “what joke?”

I was explaining a triathlon to the boys. “You swim, bike, run.”
Noah, “is that some sort of animal show?”

Noah came out wearing all black, “hey mommy, I’m like cat woman now!”

Noah came out wearing all black, “hey mommy, I’m like cat woman now!”

“Mom, can we sometime get a bird as a pet?” Ezra 
“We can talk about it when your older and able to help more with the cleaning of the cage.” me
“Or we could just get a parrot.” Ezra

The boys packed a suitcase and went to Ethiopia today (master bedroom) on their way they passed Taffi, Ezra says, “Ethiopian dogs are so funny.”

Daddy always knows. He probably has a computer that can see what we’re doing! – Noah

Noah was asking about my birthday cake (he has months to plan it)
What kind do you want?
Chocolate. 
Okay. With a picture of you or minions?
Definitely minions.

I just can’t decide between a firefighter, a police officer, and a ninja turtle. – Noah on growing up.

Noah just saw a fun loom commercial. “Mommy, I could make you lots if necklaces. If you get me this, I’ll eat lots of broccoli.”

When spider man was the boy Peter Parker, he didn’t have food problems he just ate. – Noah trying to convince Ezra to eat dinner.

“We have to plant them well, so they feel bright.” Ezra on planting flowers.

Don’t blame me, blame myself. – Ezra

Ezra, “Why do the snowballs hurt Mario, I thought he liked playing in the snow?”
Noah, “The snow gives him eczema.”

Noah, “Does God want you to turn of the video game while I’m playing? No, he wants you to let me finish.”
Ezra, “No, God wants us to live.”
 

Ezra decided he is buying a corvette when he is older. But told me when “we” have a baby boy he’ll need to find a car that can play movies in the back seat. 
Me: we huh, who is the lucky one?
Ezra. I don’t know. I haven’t met her yet. I bet she’s pretty. But maybe she hasn’t been born yet.

I’m starting kindergarten in 10 days and I’m afraid I’m going to make lots of wonderful new friends. – Noah on starting school and missing his preschool friends. 

Commercials have a strange hold on my children. Tonight Ezra suggested he needs a sleep number bed that has temperature and firmness controls.

Matt was explaining that sometimes mommy needs alone time to recharge. 
Noah, “is mommy a robot?”

Ezra: Abby tells me her secrets because I’m her girlfriend

The boys were wrestling and apparently Ezra had Noah pinned under a blanket.
Noah’s telling of it, “I almost ran out of lives.”

Deep theology from Noah: if I want to be like Jesus, I’d be invisible because id be dead.

Last night’s middle of the night wake up brought to you by Noah, “My brain is changing! I came to wake you two up then turn on all my lights.” 

Me: who brought their patience pants?
Noah: not me! Let’s go!

Noah to Matt at 2 am, “daddy, why is nighttime so long?”

“Oh man! The apple sauce is overtaking the flour! I can’t wait to see who will win this battle” Ezra baking

Noah to Ezra: you can’t come to my half birthday party because I had to make room for Spider-Man. You’ll have to leave your present for me at the door.

A 9 is a right side up 6. – Ezra

Dad, well, when do we get our own house? We are almost 5 and a half you know. – Ezra

Kid trash talk while playing video games: “Actually you are really great at dying”.

Ez: Noah! Stop touching my person! 
Me: you person or Lego person?
Ez: Lego person. He needs his personal space!

Ezra, “Wow, Noah, you look awesome!”
Noah, “Yea, I know.”

“I got a lot of packing heat.” Ezra showing of his muscles

Ezra was threatening to run away this morning. I asked where he would go.
“To Vaughn’s.”
“Vaughn moved to Texas, how would you get there?”
“By airplane.”
“and how are you paying for a plane ticket?”
“With Noah!”

Me, what are you guys doing?
Ez, we’re doing what we do. 

The worst time for giraffes to run is when they’re drinking. – Ezra

Boys tomorrow we have to try to get out the door by 7:30. – me
But mom, I can’t think when I’m up that early. – Noah 

Out of context Noah. 
“I can do everything Ezra can do, because I’m a girl too.”

Ezra bringing in the mail, “I got the email.”

I’m taking a shower and hear a frantic knock on the bathroom door. 
Noah’s important news, “to spell add you spell a-d-d!”

My mouth doesn’t like it, so he isn’t going to eat them! Ezra

Noah claimed their room was all clean. I went in to check and was showing him what still needed put away. “It was clean! It must have messed itself up again.”

“Boys wash up for dinner.”
“But we want to finish this glorious tower!” – Ezra

At the pool a couple of teenage girls walked past Ezra talking. Ezra’s take, “that was a lot if blah, blah blah.”

Ezra, “dad, how do people make Legos?”
Me, “we learned about it yesterday, do you remember?”
Ezra, “I’ll just pretend I know.”

When I grow up I’m going to be a fire fighter and police officer. – Noah 
I’m going to be an ambulance person, fire fighter, and police officer. – Ezra 
That’s a lot of jobs. (Pause) or you could be a ninja! – Noah

Hey Ezra wanna see my famous naked dance? – Noah

If this was a straight track daddy would be sure to win! – Ezra 
Guess Matt needs to work on his cornering skills.

Can you help me cut this medium sized? – Noah 
How big is medium sized? – Me 
Not too big and not too small. – Noah

“I have a big brain.” Ezra
“Yes, you are smart.” Me
“It’s really juicy.” Ezra

Umm, mom, are we old enough to get our own motorcycles yet? – Ezra

“It’s really blah blah because no one is helping me.” – Ezra

We were discussing the Easter Bunny and Noah missed what I said. Ezra telling him what was discussed, “some families have an Easter Beagle, and some families don’t have an Easter Beagle.”

A game Ezra was playing asked him to enter a nickname. I asked what he wanted to be called besides Ezra. “Umm, snake!”

Hey mommy I love you and how do people make guns? – Noah

You’re not my favorite brother anymore! – Noah to Ezra

My butt gets really stuck to the seat because I’m wearing the same fur as this fur. – Ezra on getting into his car seat.

 

First Day of Kindergarten

On August 4 the boys started kindergarten.  They are really liking school for the most part.  It has been quite the transition for all of us with many rough afternoons, but we are finally all getting used to our new routine and long days.  Here are some pics of their first day.  Sorry no good pics at school, it was very crowded and we weren’t allowed inside.

 

DSC_2820DSC_2813DSC_2833DSC_2830DSC_2828DSC_2818

New Garden

Matt’s been busy building me a new (hopefully chicken proof) garden. The boys and I planted it today. We planted cucumbers, tomatoes, okra, basil, peppers, melons, carrots, eggplant, zucchini, and red onion.

 

photo 1

photoDSC02231

DSC02232

DSC02235

DSC02236

DSC02237

DSC02239

 

They also used their fire nozzle to clean off the solar panel.

DSC02243

Funny Quotes XIII

“My muscles aren’t bigger than yours, they are just more potent than yours.” Ezra to Noah

Ezra shouting, “mom, what’s that thing making the noise?”
Me, “the blender.”
Ezra shouting, “the blender is losing the quiet game.”

More crashes means more scratches. Ezra’s words of wisdom.

“Noah, did you know dirt is allergic to me?” – Ezra

Mommy, the more music I make, the more Jackson drinks.” – Ezra

Sometimes I just get ignored by your books. – Ezra (Took me a few days and him using ignored wrong a few more times to figure out he was trying to say inspired)

Me: what does mommy want for Christmas?
Noah: well she seems to like laundry. So maybe more laundry?

Ezra, oh what happened?
Me, one of the chargers got hurt.
Ezra, did his arm get chopped off? (Football is apparently a very violent game)

Noah was having a party at the swing set. Ezra parks his jeep and all the chickens run up, “uh-oh looks like a chick party.”

I don’t want to go to school. I already know my abc’s. I have nothing left to learn! – Noah

When I sit down it’s boring. – Ezra

The boys got some conversation hearts today at school. I was requested to read them and when I read Ezra one that said “first kiss” he gave me a kiss.

I’m sorry, mommy. I just got distracted with books. – Ezra

Ezra, “you have a nice butt.”
Me, “who are you talking to?”
Ezra, “that strawberry right there.”

Me, “Eat your breakfast, we have gymnastics this morning.”
Noah, “Aaaah but it’s Valentine’s Day.”

I’m readier than banana! – Ezra

We were getting in the car and Noah had forgotten something.
Me “where did you leave it?”
Him “just look everywhere.”

Ezra, “I have the funniest joke ever. Knock knock.”
Us, “Who’s there?”
Ezra, “Knock”
Us, “Knock who?”
Ezra, “Aren’t you glad I have ears?” Followed by hysterical laughter.

Ezra, “it just gets me into trouble.”
Me, “your mustache?” (He was sporting one made of ticky tac)
Ezra, “no, my mind! I just think and think.”

Ezra found the classical station on the radio. “Hey guys listen, you’re missing a princess song.”

Ezra excitedly, “Noah, you know where chocolate chips come from!”
Noah answering even though it was not a question, “Chocolate and chips!”
Ezra, “No, they come from oreos.”

The boys brought home art from Presidents’ Day and we were discussing.
Me, “and who was George Washington?”
Noah, “ummm, a pirate.”

Matt: see boys daddy is super strong. I tore that apart with my bare hands.
Ezra: you don’t have bear hands, you have daddy hands.

Trash talk while playing basketball with lacrosse sticks, (thats normal right?).
Ezra to Noah: Hey Bro, did you bring your A-Game, because it’s all I’ve got!

Ezra the heart breaker: “mommy how do I write letters of love on katlyns birthday card?”

Noah: Daddy how long do I have to stay in my room?
Matt: until you can be calm.
Noah: awwww that will take so long!

While arguing over the nativity scene arrangement: Noah: it goes this way, trust me I was in the bible.

Noah: daddy can we get a pet giraffe?
Matt: sorry but they need to stay in their homes in africa
Noah: aww but I wanted to teach mine to play basketball.
Matt: well in that case. Go ask your mom.

N, “Where was Abby born?”
Me, “Gilbert, in a hospital.”
N, “You don’t get born in a hospital!!!!”
Me (trying not to laugh), “Where do you get born?”
E, “Africa!” Then continues to go on and on about all the animals Abby likes (think giraffes and lions). “There are lions in Africa, she should have just come and seen us there.”

Matt: did some one set the alarm to go off?
Ezra: some one played with it. It was definitely me.

“Make way for THE EZRA!” – Ezra.

Ezra and Noah’s 5th Birthday

The boys turned 5 last month. I still can’t believe they are 5. Where did my babies go? On their actual birthday they had their special donut breakfast and mommy went to school with them. We also opened presents in the morning.

Then on Saturday they had a little party. Noah wanted a firetruck cake and Ezra wanted an ambulance cake. They are also super into legos now, so we decided on the easy route and topped their cakes with legos. There was also a firetruck piñata and games.

Waiting to open presents.
Waiting to open presents.
A real phone! (okay just walkie talkies)
A real phone! (okay just walkie talkies)
Noah's Cake
Noah’s Cake
Ezra's Cake
Ezra’s Cake
Playing with Abby
Playing with Abby
Demonstrating the fire pole, look mom one hand!
Demonstrating the fire pole, look mom one hand!
Singing to Noah
Singing to Noah

DSC01866

Singing to Ezra
Singing to Ezra

DSC01871

Cheese!
Cheese!

Christmas Angels

The boys had their school Christmas play today. They were angels. Each child had to say their own line. The boys were the loudest (without screaming) and clearest. They did great!

Silly Angels

Smiling boys

Happy Noah (he was the fix-it angel)

Ez speaking (he was so excited about the microphone)

Ezra the strong angel

Noah speaking

Ezra at 5

27

Color: blue and black
Sport: Soccer and football
Animal: dogs and cats
Food: Carrots and water and cereal
Book: Dinosaurs
Season: Winter
Restaurant: Ethiopian
Holiday: Halloween
Weather: Snowy
Cereal: Mommy’s Granola
TV Shows: Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer
Movie: Incredibles
Candy: Chocolate crackers
Subject: Alphabet
Toy: Firetrucks and police cars
Thing to do: Play firetrucks
Place have been: Arizona, Colorado, California, New Mexico, Oklahoma, United Arab Emirates, Ethiopia
Place to be: Parks
Place I want to go: Gamma and Papa’s
Person: Gamma and Papa
Hero: Daddy
Time of Day: Morning
Song: Abc’s
Drink: Apple Juice
Treat: Popcorn
Vacation: The Beach

Random Memories

“I was looking for taffi and she came out of your bedroom and went outside, I went outside with her and I saw the moon but I couldn’t go up to the moon.”
The late night adventures of Ezra continue.

“Take your boat elsewhere, that’s the dance floor.” – Me

Noah, “I wish I could have a dragon.”
Ezra, “yea, but we can’t bring one here. Hey Mom, why can’t we bring a dragon here?”
Me, “ummm.”
Noah, “Come on mom, some are baby dragons and don’t breath fire, PLEASE!”

So Ezra asked for some words that started with x. Me, X-ray, xerox, zebra.

Noah and I were laying in bed relaxing. Ezra crawls up with blankie and a pillow. Next thing I know he is standing over Noah, whacking him in the face with the pillow, saying “does this feel like a dream?” Then they both erupted in giggles.

Must be greeting close to beach time. The boys decided to help “pack” sunscreen by smearing it all over themselves.

The boys are in the living room.
Ezra runs in to tell me, “Mommy, someone is staring at me!”
Me, “What? Like a person?”
Ezra, “Yes he is looking right at me!”
Me, “Where? Show me?”
Ezra points to the person, it was Jackson the cat.
Cats are people too.

Ezra never says ‘I love you’ to me. This evening he ran into the kitchen, gave me a huge hug, and said “you know I love you mommy!” (July 16, 2013)

Does anyone else immediately wonder “was it my kids?” when they get an email from vbs stating that the fire alarm inadvertently went off today? (it wasn’t!)

Ezra, “mommy watch this!”
Me, “you just asked for a sandwich. Do you want me to watch you or make your food?”
Ezra, “I want you to do both.”

Things that snuck into my cart while I wasn’t looking, cabbage and lettuce. My kids are weird.

Me: asleep
Ezra: mommy, I’m going to read a book in bed so you can sleep!

Ezra’s latest middle of the night hijinks- He go on my computer and texted daddy’s phone.

Woke up at 3 am to find a blanket on the floor next to my bed but no kid. Went to check their room and the door was locked, unlocked it and both kids were sleeping soundly. Asked them this morning and Ezra said he just wanted to put the blanket there and that he locked to door so the blanket didn’t come back. Kids do weird things in the middle of the night. I wonder what else goes on around here.

Last day of school. Noah was named the class mathematician and Ezra the class scientist. So proud of them. (preschool 3’s class)

When two little boys are jumping up and down shouting, “someone is here! Someone is here!” next to the little window by your door, you can’t just ignore the solicitor who rang the doorbell.

I’m going to be sad when the boys stop calling goggles gargoyles.

The boys just locked me in the chicken coop. How long until Matt notices? (thankfully it wasn’t too long)

Laying in bed listening to the boys play over the monitor and I just heard, “this is going to be even more dangerous!”

“That boy can hold a conversation!” – the tree trimmer’s thoughts on Ezra

I love waking up to giggling boys, but … 3:30 am was a little ridiculous.

Funny Quotes XII

E, “Mommy, said we can go to the park!”
N, “What’s that?”
E – describes the playground.
N, “Oh the park, I thought you said Ark – the thing I built.”

“If you don’t share I won’t come to your birthday party!” Said one twin to the other. (thinking it was Noah to Ezra)

Abby wasn’t born with us. Abby was born in Asia, we were born in Africa. – Ezra

“Pumpkin is not food, ewww.” – Noah
“Yes it is! You can make pumpkin pie.” – Ezra

The boys get one sheet of homework a week. They have to draw or cut out three things that start with the letter of the week. This week is D.
Ezra holding up a blank piece of paper, “mommy, I drew a Dalmatian dog, but he is wearing a costume so he is invisible!”

Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Bro? – Noah

We have to put away our weapons now. – Noah
Okay sensei. – Ezra

It will create an avalanche. No it will create a veggie salad. – Ezra in the tub.

But I want it and I get it because I’m sick. – Ezra telling Noah how it is.

The boys’ library books were for some reason in the middle of the hall.
Matt, “Why are there books here?”
Ezra, “Mommy was reading them.”
Not a complete lie, I did read him a book earlier that he brought me.

Noah, “I don’t want the ninjaneers to get it.” (Cardinals vs. Buccaneers)

Daddy, I’m going to name my mouth ‘candy land’ so everyone knows that’s where to put their candy. – Noah.

Ezra is very upset Noah is taller than him. “Mom, can you give him coffee to make him shorter, please?”

Noah to Ezra, “Wow, Ezra, you look cool!”
Ezra scowled.
Me, “Ezra that was a compliment, we say thank you when people give us compliments.”
Then Ezra angrily says to nobody in particular, “Fine if your going to say that I’m going to say you look cute!”

Ezra was asking for more food yet again.
Me, “geez boy how hungry are you?”
Ezra, “60 feet hungry.”

Some guy stopped the boys at the store to tell them how well behaved they were.
Ezra, “Mommy, why did he say that?”

“Reading makes my arms tired.” – Noah

Matt: what did you learn about in church today?
Ezra: orphans and that god wants us to love them.
Matt. Yeah?
Ezra: yeah. We should adopt them. But They are really big and live in the sea.
Matt: huh?

Ezra, “What did he say?”
Me, “You know you would hear more of what other people say, if you would just stop talking every once in a while.”
Ezra, “Nuh-uh, I’m never going to stop talking.”

Ezra, “I keep sneezing because of Paul.”
Me, “what did you say is making you sneeze?”
Ezra, “all that Paul, like the little boy.”
Me, “there’s a little boy outside?”
Ezra, “no the Paul in the air!”
Me, “you mean pollen.”

I was chopping in the kitchen and we were working on letter sounds by naming foods.
Boys, “tomato stars with T.”
Me, “yep. What other fruits and vegetables start with T?”
Noah, “TV!”

Matt was NOT wearing a shirt with a bike on it this morning.
“Daddy, you forgot to put on your bike shirt.” – Noah

Want to see my Amazing Store? – Noah
That’s not an Amazing Store, it’s an Awesome Store. – Ezra

Mommy come check out this enchilada! – Ezra referring to a tarantula.

We get to swim lessons and I remind the boys to take their shoes off. I look over at Ezra and he is taking his swimsuit off. “Oh I thought I heard swimsuit.”

Abby to Noah (referring to Ezra), “yea, I know, your boyfriend already told me.”

“You’re the bestest mommy in the whole house!” – Ezra

Ezra was ‘reading’ the requirements to level up in swim. After listing several he said, “and the most important is get out and show your mom what you can do.”

This tree smells like dr pepper! – Ezra

Does anyone need to go potty before we leave?
AHH! But I only go once a year! – Ezra

Last night the boys were discussing what they want to be when they grow up. Noah still wants to be a firefighter. Ezra said, “I want to be what Noah tells me.”

Me “boys clean up the living room.”
Ezra “WHY?”
Me “excuse me?”
Ezra “I said yes!”

“I think he (Ezra) needs some new listening ears from target.” – Noah

About 10 minutes into the flight, Ezra, “are we flying over Africa yet?” (Flight was from Arizona to Oklahoma)

I saw a doggy in her purse. That’s funny. That doesn’t make any sense. – Ezra.

Me: Why is there popcorn all over the floor?
Ezra: Because I was eating like an elephant.

“Mommy, why do you have to talk to other adults?” – Noah

A package arrived.
“What’s that?” – Ezra
“Something for mommy.”- Matt
Ezra smelling the box, “It’s not coffee.”

And there’s glitter on it!” – Noah describing his potato (I promise it was salt, not glitter)

If you step on a butterfly, it will kill you. – Ezra
Almost got it right.

If you see a dinosaur like a trex, you probably need to step away a little bit. – Ezra

Noah, “hey Ezra watch this.”
No response from Ezra in the other room.
Noah, “okay you can miss it!”

While eating dinner Noah pointed out that he was almost done and that Ezra had hardly eaten.
Ezra, “but I’m pasting myself!”

Can we keep the house clean? – Ezra (the answer is clearly no)

If you had a bad day just imagine Ezra walking around saying “oh no she didn’t” all day.

“We can play hockey after we’re done playing cocaine.” – Ezra (it was lacrosse and I think he was trying to say croquet)

“firefighters stop, drop, and roll onto the fire to put it out.” – Noah

“Babies take a lot of work and sometimes you can’t handle it.” – Ezra

First Day of School – 9.3.2013

The boys started their first day of preschool last week. They go 4 mornings a week. Ezra was a little anxious this year, but was totally fine when we got there.

Ezra
Ezra
Noah
Noah
Clearly someone had some feelings about school
Clearly someone had some feelings about school
Getting better
Getting better
Fake smile
Fake smile
Cuddles for mommy
Cuddles for mommy
Smiles with daddy
Smiles with daddy
They ran to class when we got there!
They ran to class when we got there!
Found a phone first thing
Found a phone first thing
Cleaning
Cleaning

Family Day – June 2013

It is hard to believe we celebrated our 4th family day on June 8 this year! It’s even harder to believe we didn’t get a picture on that day. On our family day the boys and I arrived at the airport from Oklahoma in the evening. We were exhausted and just never got around to a picture.

Here is the only family picture we’ve taken this summer! Plus the pictures through the years. Hard to believe how much they’ve grown. We love them lots!

2013

2012

2011

2010

2009

Taking photos with kids

Last October we were in Colorado and decided to snap some family photos.  Most of them turned out blurry for one reason or another.  I decided to have Matt take a picture of me and my boys one at a time.  My method of photos with kids has always been for me to just smile and look at the camera and hope the kids cooperate.  The result is that I’m at least happy with my picture.

During our little photo shoot Noah was totally cooperative and we got some cute shots. Ezra was super fidgety and playing with a stick, but I didn’t realize quite what he was doing with the stick. When Matt was showing me the pictures I burst out laughing at the last photo in this post. It is my favorite photo of us to date. It is such an Ezra and mommy moment.

Noah and me all smiles
Noah and me all smiles
Cuddly Noah still happy
Cuddly Noah still happy
Ezra playing with a stick, no problem take some pics
Ezra playing with a stick, no problem take some pics
The results = My Favorite picture to date
The results = My Favorite picture to date