Category Archives: Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes XI

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“The sun is really hot. If I sit on the sun it will burn my booty.” – Ezra

Ezra, “can I have corn cheese?”
Me, “what are you talking about?”
Ezra, “you said corn cheese!”
Me, “oh I said no more cheese.”

Out of context Ezra, “I’m giving the chicks some weed.”

More out of context Ezra, “Daddy, daddy I’m gonna be your weed guy!”

Noah to Ezra, “I don’t want your attitude.”

Me, “boys can you help me pick up so I can vacuum?”
Ezra, “why? Is somebody coming over?”

Me: what did you boys talk about in Sunday school today?
Ezra: well me and garret were telling funny jokes in the bathroom
Me: okay what did your teachers talk about?
Ezra: I don’t know.

Ezra: Daddy, someone needs to chop these weeds and mow this grass
Me sarcastically: I know, who is in charge around here?
Ezra serious: I guess i have to everything around here

Me: Hey Boys, we need to paint the chicken coop today, can you help?
Ezra: Well, um… It sounds like a hard job, I’ll see what I can do. I may not be able to do all of it.

Ezra to me, “I’m gonna tell the chicks to stay away from our hammers and stuff so they don’t get hurt.”
Ezra to the chicks, “tweet tweet tweet tweet.”

Funny Quotes X

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“I have the hook-ups.” both boys say this when they have hiccups.

“My finger is all rumbly.” Ezra
“Rumbly?” Me
“yea the water did that.” Ezra
“Wrinkly!” Me

Ezra, “mommy I don’t know how to sleep.”
Me, “well you start by closing your eyes and mouth.”
Ezra, “but they keep popping open.”

“Duty calls!” – Firefighter Noah
“No, we say booty calls!” – Ezra

I was informed today that vanilla frosties are for when it’s sunny out and chocolate frosties are for when it’s REALLY sunny out and eyes water from the sun.

“Hey guys stop it! I’m trying to be difficult.” – Ezra talking to his toys

Ezra is flipping a coin and calling either rock or scissors.

Ezra, “we’re too young to go to garden school.”
Me after thinking for a bit, “do you mean kindergarden?”

Noah, “All that pizza made my tummy hurt.”
Me, “Pizza?”
Noah, “yea, pizza.”
Me, “We didn’t have pizza.”
Noah, “Oh.”

Funny Quotes – IX

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I told Noah to let me know if he needed help. Then I over hear Ezra, “I’ll help you as a tattletale!”

Ezra talking about the cats, “they are great at pooping and they are great sleeping.”

Noah, “There are two of Micah and Judah and there are two of us!”
Matt, “Yep, they are twins and you are twins.”
Noah (looking at me and Matt), “And you guys are twins!”

I was resting my eyes while the boys did something involving “beibers” and “damage.”
Turns out they were beavers building a dam.

Me, “What are you doing?”
Ezra, “I’m up to something.”

The boys’ phineas and ferb cd has a song called “my undead mummy and me.” The boys walk around singing “my dead mommy and me.”

“Say thank you Noah.” – Noah
“Thank you, Noah.” – Noah
Nope I didn’t accidentally leave Ezra out of the conversation. He wasn’t involved.

Chickens come from chicken trees – Noah.

Ezra is playing a new leapster game and the game said something about hitting targets, “mommy, the penguins went to Target!”

“Noah be careful I don’t know how to sing.” – Ezra to the tune of frosty the snowman.

“I ate baby Jesus and the hay!” out of context Ezra

Me: You are going to celebrate Jesus’ birthday tomorrow at school.
Ezra: Is baby Jesus going to be there?

“Super Noah wants some make-up.” – Super Noah

Ezra heard the term bundt cake yesterday for the first time and immediately asked, “mommy what’s butt cake?”

Matt, “who’s side are you on?”
Ezra, “Noah’s, he’s on the right.”

Ezra brought me baby Jesus in a cup and whispered, “shhh he’s a baby angel.”

“I’m having allergies I can’t put my own socks on!” – Ezra

“I like daddy, he is funny. I like when he shoots my butt. He shoots my butt every day.” – Noah (with a nerf gun of course)

“Jesus lives in my tummy and helps me do good things” – Ezra.

Noah: I’m going to high five your face.

Funny Quotes – VIII

Funny Quotes,

This is how Noah introduced himself to a stranger at the park:
Hi I’m Noah. That’s my daddy his name is daddy. That’s my brother he hits me a lot.

“Oh daddy, you’re making fire trucks! Yippy skippy!” Ezra

“Mommy it’s kinda of dark out.” -Ezra
“Yea it’s going to be cloudy and cooler the next couple of days.”
“Yea and it’s going to snow!”-Ezra

“Some pretzels are ripe, some are not.” – Ezra

When I was leaving to get my pedicure Noah asked, “are you going to be gone for 5 days?”

“I’m applesauce! I go with the food.” – Ezra

“It’s not Ezra day. I thought it was Ezra day.” Proclaimed Ezra madly when he got in trouble.

“If there’s a fire in my room, go outside and stay outside. Don’t stop for food.” – Noah

“Firemens need to put all their toys away so they can get ready for rescuing.” – Ezra

Funny Quotes VII

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“my tongue is a really good licker, he licks everything.” – Ezra

The boys were wanting to plan their birthday cakes today and I said, “I was thinking of making firetruck cakes. Would that be good?”

Them, “yes!”
Me, “What flavor would you like?”
Ezra, “firetruck!”
Me, “what would you like the firetruck to taste like?”
Ezra, “firetrucky!”

“the rain won’t stop growing.” – Ezra

Me, “Noah do you want salad?”
Noah, “no, just ketchup.”

“I’m going to be a mad pumpkin and tickle you.” Ezra talking to daddy

“yummy cauliflower!”
“I’m too full I don’t want to eat a cookie.”
Two sentences I never thought I’d hear from Noah.

“Ezra will you be my family?” – Noah
“I will!” – Ezra

The boys were playing a game at class and when the teacher said a tornado was coming they had to run into the play house. What were my boys screaming? “a tomato is coming, a tomato is coming!”

Noah to Matt, “can I smell your mustache?”

Ezra call quesadillas, quesaeatas.

“My room won’t clean itself.” Ezra

Ezra, “my bad.”
Noah, “huh?”
Ezra, “my bad means if you drop something.”

Conversation in the car:
“They’re firetrucks!” -Noah
“They’re also fire engines!” – Ezra
(this went back and forth for a while)
“They’re firetrucks, they’re not trains!” – Noah

Noah, “I like Halloween, Halloween is candy.”
Me, “Where’d you learn that?”
Noah, “From Santa.”

While I was still in bed I heard Noah shout, “Daddy is mommy still sleeping?”
Next thing I know he was next to me hugging me and said, “Daddy says you’re still sleeping.”

Nana, “what do bears do in the winter?”
Noah, “wear scarves!”

“I’ll go first then you’ll go first. That’s how we take turns.” Ezra

So I heard a helicopter fly over. Then I heard the boys screaming, “Help! Help! Help!” So I went to tell them they can’t just keep screaming that. Noah, “but it won’t stop, I want to get in it.”

Can I have some honey with bread on it? – Noah

“My other wheel is broken so I have to wait at the dentist.” -Ezra’s police car

Funny Quotes – VI

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(Found this in the drafts folder, guess we forgot to publish. It’s from March – so you can have an idea of age.)

“can i be a fire fighter?” Ezra
“yes you can” me
“You can be a fire fighter when you’re old.” Noah

“There’s cars in our way we need a siren.” – Noah apparently frustrated with traffic

“You can’t wear a fire hat you’re a girl.” Ezra to a little friend of his (yep I was a little shocked, but then realized he’s only met male fire fighters.)

Ezra, “Noah you are a good friend.” Noah, “huh-uh are not.”

Ezra was just playing on the bathroom scale and said, “it’s your turn mommy.”
me, “I don’t want to.”
Ezra, “okay, that’s scary?”

“want to take our shirts off and dance?” Ezra to Noah.

Ezra: I want to eat a rabbit like a carrot.

Matt: hey boys we need to pick up Legos in 5 minutes. Noah: so we can wrestle? Ezra: yeah! That’s a good choice daddy!

“the poop is going to a party with other poops.” – Ezra on flushing the toilet

Sweet moments gone toddler

Funny Quotes

Growing up

Noah and I (matt) are cuddling on the couch.

Noah: Daddy, when i grow up, i want to be like you…
Me: Aww thanks dude
Noah: Then i will be like Rexy (Their 5′ tall pink inflatable dinosaur)
Me: Umm Okay.
Noah: Then I will grow up more, and be like Noah.
Me: That’s a good plan.

The Tub

Ezra: Daddy I like Baths
Me: Great!
Ezra: Sometimes i pee in the water

Noah’s Ark

Ezra was reading this bible and when he got to the page with Noah and the ark.

Ezra: Then he made a rainbow out of Jesus.

Honesty

Stephanie was in the kitchen, the boys were in their playroom, and it got quiet.

Stephanie: “Are you guys being good in there?”
Noah: No, we are not.

 

Funny Quotes – V

Funny Quotes

“I need milk for my mouth.” – Noah

Me “Noah where’s your banana?” him, “it’s in my tummy.” me realizing I didn’t ask the correct question, “where’s your banana peel?” (You have to keep track of those things!)

“Noah catch me the soccer ball.” – Ezra (he meant throw, but he uses a lot of opposites, like inside for outside, catch for throw.)

Noah asked what was in Sydni’s hair and I replied her bow. Ezra holds up his elbow and points to it, “this is my bow.”

“I got my baby sister out of the truck. Want to hug her?” Ezra holding up his sippy.

Just found the boys laying in their beds so I asked if they were tired. Ezra, “I’m just resting my mouth.”

I told the boys we were having fish for dinner, Noah ran in the kitchen “I want a red one!” ummm sorry buddy I’m not feeding you Swedish fish for dinner.

Noah just came in while I was putting on make-up and said, “hey you putting on your face?” weird neither Matt or I ever remember saying that.

“mommy your shoes are walking very well!” thanks ez my shoes appreciate that you noticed. :)

Ezra’s thoughts on why I wouldn’t take the cat on our walk, “he doesn’t have shoes!”

“I need a different pen, I need a cool one.” – Noah

Me trying to convince Ezra to take his medicine “you don’t want to get sick again” and his response “huh-uh I’m a boy.”

Funny Quotes – IV

Funny Quotes

Wow it has been a long time without a post about the silly things the boys say! Hope this brings a smile to your face. :)

There is a key that doesn’t work on the piano. Ezra, “Daddy needs change batteries.”

“More shopping and then Death.” – Ezra (halloween display featuring Death at the grocery store)

Ezra just walked around the corner, “I’m special. Ezra special.”

Matt was talking to me and said “maybe I can take them to the p-a-r-k.”. Noah, “I want to play park.” Guess we have spelled that one enough!

Ezra has been emphatically saying ocean all day, except it sounds like “oh sh*t.”

Told Ezra he couldn’t watch tv because he didn’t have a good attitude. His response, “I don’t want a good attitude.”

We were eating salmon cakes for dinner and Noah just asked for “more cat please” ummm we don’t eat those here buddy.

Matt asked Ezra if he was going to be Thomas for Halloween, “no I’m Ezra!”

We were singing songs before nap-time and Ezra pounds on his chest and says, “I’m a man.”

‎”Let’s chase the pretty girl!” – Ezra (oh my it begins)

The boys were watching a tv show: little boy “Hi my name is Noah …” Ezra, “You’re not Noah! You’re not Noah!”

“Bug don’t eat my ogurt, okay BUG. Don’t eat my ogurt.” – Ezra

The boys were getting ready to leave with daddy to go get pizza – Noah, “I’ve got to go to work, bye.”

Was just told in a very serious tone, “Lightening McQueen wants to talk to you.”

We were explaining to the boys they start swim lessons on Saturday and Ezra says, “and its cold … And there’s sand!” Think he likes the beach much?
you say “potato” Ezra says “tomato” ehhh it’s all the same right?

Me: we’re going to Starbucks mommy needs caffeine. Ezra: cat food! He also refers to cashews as cat shoes.

I was telling the boys they are so smart. Noah, “I’m smart!” Ezra, “I’m smarter!”

‎”mommy and daddy make me feel happy.” heart melt, way to turn the morning around Ez.

Ezra calls caterpillars “caterpickles” took me a bit to figure out how pickles turned to butterflies.

‎”Daddy play sweet potatoes pleeease.” “Sweet potatoes arm falling off!” quotes from Ez re Mr. Potato Head.

‎”mommy twobutt, look mommy twobutt!”. Finally figured out he was trying to say tuba.

The boys’ observations on 347 this morning, “mommy cars are racing, mommy police car are racing!”

Ezra was calling muffins as they baked, “That one is Ezra’s, that one is Ezra’s, that one is Ezra’s.”

Noah from the back seat of the car, “there’s rain, there’s some more rain, and more rain!”

The other day the windshield wipers were annoying Ezra so I explained it was so I could see the road. The next day I turned them on again, Noah, “There’s the road, There’s the road…” (yep every time they wiped.)

Ezra, “daddy is a papa, mommy is a gamma, Michelle is a Jason, Jason is a maybe Thomas. Jason is a James.” (Just so you know thomas and james are trains)

Ezra “I want to ride a school bus” me “you have to go to school to get to ride” a little while later we see another school bus, Ezra “we get to go to school!”

Me “two minutes till nap time.” Ezra, “NO!” Me, “but we can’t go do something fun tonight if you don’t nap.” Noah very matter-of-fact, “Oh yeah, that’s right.”

Funny quotes 3

Funny Quotes,

Ezra says to Noah, while both are riding laps in the house on bikes: “Hey Noah, go fast, go really really fast. It’s easy!”

Noah while in time out: “Noah, clean up this mess right now!”  (yes, he made a mess, but glad he wasn’t cutting himself any slack.

“28, 29, 2010, 2011, 2012…” – noah counting past 29.

“Daddy get iPad, daddy plays letter games”  Yes, thats what daddy does with the ipad.

“Ezra let taffy out! I sure did!” – ezra

We’ve been working on first and last names with the boys. They know their names and mommy’s names and we taught them daddy’s name one night. Matt asked them one more time what mommy’s name was. Ezra enthusiastically shouts, “Bingo.”

Ezra was pretend pouring drinks. He was giving me cup after cup of milk. After a while I went to the bathroom, and I hear a knock at the door, “Stephanie” me: yes, “Want a beer?”

‎”That’s great Ezra. That’s cool buddy!” – Noah

The boys are serving us food and I pointed they didn’t give daddy a cookie, Ezra, “daddy go poop get treat.”

During a Cowboys game I accidentally shut the tv off adjusting it, Noah in his your in big trouble voice, “Mommy, back on, Noah watching Cowboys.” That’s my boy. :)

‎”jump Ezra, jump, here hold my hand. Yay you did it!” overheard while they were supposed to be napping.

“there is a cow in our wall” – Ezra

Pushing my Buttons

Ezra, Funny Quotes

Tonight at dinner I had about had it with the boys’ behavior. I finally turned to Ez and said, “are you trying to push all my buttons?” He then started making electronic button noises and pointing in the air like he was pushing buttons.

(I know not my best parenting moment, but it was too cute not to pass along)

"Pampered"

Funny Quotes

One day last week Matt came home and asked if I had showered and I responded yes and that I had also blow dried my hair.  His response, “I thought you looked pampered.”

Apparently the new definition of pampered in my life means I used my blow dryer!  :)