Funny Quotes XII

E, “Mommy, said we can go to the park!”
N, “What’s that?”
E – describes the playground.
N, “Oh the park, I thought you said Ark – the thing I built.”

“If you don’t share I won’t come to your birthday party!” Said one twin to the other. (thinking it was Noah to Ezra)

Abby wasn’t born with us. Abby was born in Asia, we were born in Africa. – Ezra

“Pumpkin is not food, ewww.” – Noah
“Yes it is! You can make pumpkin pie.” – Ezra

The boys get one sheet of homework a week. They have to draw or cut out three things that start with the letter of the week. This week is D.
Ezra holding up a blank piece of paper, “mommy, I drew a Dalmatian dog, but he is wearing a costume so he is invisible!”

Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Bro? – Noah

We have to put away our weapons now. – Noah
Okay sensei. – Ezra

It will create an avalanche. No it will create a veggie salad. – Ezra in the tub.

But I want it and I get it because I’m sick. – Ezra telling Noah how it is.

The boys’ library books were for some reason in the middle of the hall.
Matt, “Why are there books here?”
Ezra, “Mommy was reading them.”
Not a complete lie, I did read him a book earlier that he brought me.

Noah, “I don’t want the ninjaneers to get it.” (Cardinals vs. Buccaneers)

Daddy, I’m going to name my mouth ‘candy land’ so everyone knows that’s where to put their candy. – Noah.

Ezra is very upset Noah is taller than him. “Mom, can you give him coffee to make him shorter, please?”

Noah to Ezra, “Wow, Ezra, you look cool!”
Ezra scowled.
Me, “Ezra that was a compliment, we say thank you when people give us compliments.”
Then Ezra angrily says to nobody in particular, “Fine if your going to say that I’m going to say you look cute!”

Ezra was asking for more food yet again.
Me, “geez boy how hungry are you?”
Ezra, “60 feet hungry.”

Some guy stopped the boys at the store to tell them how well behaved they were.
Ezra, “Mommy, why did he say that?”

“Reading makes my arms tired.” – Noah

Matt: what did you learn about in church today?
Ezra: orphans and that god wants us to love them.
Matt. Yeah?
Ezra: yeah. We should adopt them. But They are really big and live in the sea.
Matt: huh?

Ezra, “What did he say?”
Me, “You know you would hear more of what other people say, if you would just stop talking every once in a while.”
Ezra, “Nuh-uh, I’m never going to stop talking.”

Ezra, “I keep sneezing because of Paul.”
Me, “what did you say is making you sneeze?”
Ezra, “all that Paul, like the little boy.”
Me, “there’s a little boy outside?”
Ezra, “no the Paul in the air!”
Me, “you mean pollen.”

I was chopping in the kitchen and we were working on letter sounds by naming foods.
Boys, “tomato stars with T.”
Me, “yep. What other fruits and vegetables start with T?”
Noah, “TV!”

Matt was NOT wearing a shirt with a bike on it this morning.
“Daddy, you forgot to put on your bike shirt.” – Noah

Want to see my Amazing Store? – Noah
That’s not an Amazing Store, it’s an Awesome Store. – Ezra

Mommy come check out this enchilada! – Ezra referring to a tarantula.

We get to swim lessons and I remind the boys to take their shoes off. I look over at Ezra and he is taking his swimsuit off. “Oh I thought I heard swimsuit.”

Abby to Noah (referring to Ezra), “yea, I know, your boyfriend already told me.”

“You’re the bestest mommy in the whole house!” – Ezra

Ezra was ‘reading’ the requirements to level up in swim. After listing several he said, “and the most important is get out and show your mom what you can do.”

This tree smells like dr pepper! – Ezra

Does anyone need to go potty before we leave?
AHH! But I only go once a year! – Ezra

Last night the boys were discussing what they want to be when they grow up. Noah still wants to be a firefighter. Ezra said, “I want to be what Noah tells me.”

Me “boys clean up the living room.”
Ezra “WHY?”
Me “excuse me?”
Ezra “I said yes!”

“I think he (Ezra) needs some new listening ears from target.” – Noah

About 10 minutes into the flight, Ezra, “are we flying over Africa yet?” (Flight was from Arizona to Oklahoma)

I saw a doggy in her purse. That’s funny. That doesn’t make any sense. – Ezra.

Me: Why is there popcorn all over the floor?
Ezra: Because I was eating like an elephant.

“Mommy, why do you have to talk to other adults?” – Noah

A package arrived.
“What’s that?” – Ezra
“Something for mommy.”- Matt
Ezra smelling the box, “It’s not coffee.”

And there’s glitter on it!” – Noah describing his potato (I promise it was salt, not glitter)

If you step on a butterfly, it will kill you. – Ezra
Almost got it right.

If you see a dinosaur like a trex, you probably need to step away a little bit. – Ezra

Noah, “hey Ezra watch this.”
No response from Ezra in the other room.
Noah, “okay you can miss it!”

While eating dinner Noah pointed out that he was almost done and that Ezra had hardly eaten.
Ezra, “but I’m pasting myself!”

Can we keep the house clean? – Ezra (the answer is clearly no)

If you had a bad day just imagine Ezra walking around saying “oh no she didn’t” all day.

“We can play hockey after we’re done playing cocaine.” – Ezra (it was lacrosse and I think he was trying to say croquet)

“firefighters stop, drop, and roll onto the fire to put it out.” – Noah

“Babies take a lot of work and sometimes you can’t handle it.” – Ezra

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